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Random title, has nothing to do with this blog post, I was just listening to "Marvin's Room" by Jojo. Anyways, the real reason I'm here. I decided that I wanted to audition for "The Glee Project". Sounded like a good opportunity and I miss singing and performing, even though I'm still not at the level I need to be performance wise, major improvement needed, I definitely need a lesson in letting loose, which brings me to my next point. You see, I love the show "Glee" ask anyone, and I would love an opportunity to be on the show, and "The Glee Project" is just that, an awesome opportunity. I didn't watch the first season of "The Glee Project" because I didn't care to see these people I didn't know or care to know make their way on to a show I wish I was on, if I'm being honest. Anyways, I've been practicing my audition song for days, "Ordinary People" by John Legend, and let me just say the audition songs they give us to perform is a very unimpressive list if you ask me, I'm not really a big fan of any of the songs there but I digress. Moving on, I decided to watch the first episode of the first season of the "The Glee Project"and I could not bring myself to finish the episode. It was beyond intimidating. It's one thing to have a good voice around people that are not really singers, but to be around a bunch of great singers, I don't know if I can. I'm still gonna send in my audition tape and hope for the best but I don't know what I'll do if I make it to the show but just don't cut it. I was never the person to enter competitions without knowing that I would succeed, but something like this, an opportunity like this, is what you would call a wild card. Wish me luck. :)

Hugs & Pecks.

(Funny story I like the, XOXO Hugs and Kisses sign off, but physically I don't really care for hugging much or those little cheek kisses everyone does.)

So how's you're summer going? Mine has been pretty decent aside from a few major irritations, it's been alright. I've been able to explore NYC a lot more this summer which I am definitely enjoying, and I am spending time with my eldest niece. I do wish I was working as well, doesn't hurt to have a little mula coming in, but what can you do? I've been taking this sort of art class, which is pretty nice, I've been making the really nice heart cup, I'll be sure to upload a pic once it is completed, you'll love it. I wanted to do a guitar class and a vocal class but because I am not working, I don't have the funds to travel so often each week. Hopefully I can do them in the fall. I'm not in a very writing kind of mind frame so I'll end right here. I just wanted to update since I haven't blogged in months. I promise more next time.

XOXO :)

Me.

When I was younger I would think of numbers 1 through 10 as characters in a TV Show. Let me explain. The numbers 2 and 3 would be the father and mother of the starring family. 1 was the brother of 2, the father. 4 the youngest son, 5 the older brother, 6 is 5's girlfriend, and 7 is the other guy always trying to steal 6 from 5. 8 would be the sister of 3, the mother, 9 is the eldest child and daughter of 2 and 3, 10 was the chubby next door neighbor who's friends with 9, and has a crush on her, but she only views him as a friend. This is just a glimpse of how I thought as a child, and it didn't seem that strange. I would even have "episodes" if you will in my head. For example, when doing anything with numbers, whether it be in school or otherwise, I would think of ways that 7 would trying to steal 6, and who would make the better children, and who 6 would ultimately choose. Back then I would root for 5, which is funny because now 7 is my favorite number, it being my birth date. Of course now that I look back, I see the insanity that was my childlike mine, not to say I don't still have that imagination, just with more perspective now. I don't know how this thought process came about, but I was always entertained. My head is complicated like that. What do you think?

:)

If only I could make wishes and they came true every time. If only I could have things go my way a bit more often. I would definitely be in a much different place than where I am now. I believe that God has a plan and everything happens for a reason, I just get so frustrated that I don't have the slightest clue as to what the reason might be. Why am I where I am? Why am I not where I want to be? Why am I so unsure of where I'm suppose to go or what I'm suppose to do? I hate having questions with no one there to answer them, story of my life. I hate not knowing. I know sometimes I might think that knowing everything that I know sucks at times, I'm glad I know all that I do. While it is true that ignorance is bliss, I don't think I would be one of those people blissfully ignorant, no, I know I wouldn't be one of those people blissfully ignorant folks. I am way to curious and ask too many questions. I hate the thought that the plan God may have for me might not match to the idea of what I want for myself. It kills me to even consider that, quite depressing really. So I try not to think so much about it, and I fail miserably. What to do? Until next week.

Tata! :)

So here's what I'm going to "PLAN" to do. I'm going to try and publish one post a week. Not sure what about, I'm sure every blog will be a different subject. Now what should my first post be this week? Stay tuned to find out. :)

When one falls asleep, speaking solely for myself, one usually thinks of what has gone on in their life, what is going on in their life, or what will occur. I don't know if I enjoy or loathe these moments, I guess I'm neutral, it depends on where my mind decides to go. Whenever it's in a past-tense mode I usually think of good memories, memories I wish didn't end or wish I could go back to. Usually once in a blue moon I might end up grazing a bad memory & I always reflect on the fact that it was never as bad as it was the moment that memory occurred in real life, thus making the memory not exactly bad but more of a harsh lesson. Now when I think of what is going on in my life at the present moment, that is when I am usually not in the best of spirits. I won't go into detail, but for me life should definitely be better. It'll never be perfect, to even hope for perfect would be juvenile on my part, but I do hope for a day when everything just isn't as hard or depressing or such a let down. This present-tense state of thinking usually brings me way down as I drift off to an alternate imagery in my head. Just to clarify, by no means am I being ungrateful. I know that whatever situation I am in now, it could be so much worse, and I am fortunate to be who, and where I am today, but sometimes due to my circumstances I would love to send a message to life and say "SUCK IT!", but I digress. Usually the present-tense would automatically lead me into what will or could happen in my future, and this for me is a happier time of thought. I get to choose what can happen. This is the time I think up things for my future, whether it be my immediate future or a long-term thing. Just last night I was thing maybe I should attempt to write a book. I was even thinking of the first sentence, what would I say. Something that'll catch the reader and draw them in. Of course there are many factors into doing something like that and I'm still pondering on the idea.

I wonder, what does one call that period of time when you lay down to drift off to sleep? I was thinking maybe that was the pre-lude to the flashbacks they say you get when you are about to die. I never understood that theory. Speaking for myself, if I'm about to die, yes my life may cross my mind but a whole flashback of it? I think not. Mostly what'd be on my mind, is where am I going once I take my last breath, but again I digress. So a question to whoever's reading this, What is it that goes through your head this period of time as you are drifting of to sleep? or even when you just sit or lay down to relax for a bit, what are you thinking?

Penny for your thoughts? Also if you were about to die, what would be your last thought or imagery?

'til next time,

Ciao! :-)